Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Marvelous TNG Officers

On this week's Episode 25: Marvel-Lust, I rank The Avengers heroes according to their eligibility. So I thought I would post a similar list ranking the gentlemen of the Enterprise D. Once again I will start from the bottom of the list:
Deanna Troi did an excellent job of working her way up the list, although she did not get very far. It is a difficult thing to do but I'm afraid I have to put Commander Riker at the bottom of the list. Although he is very tall, handsome, and intelligent,  Riker is clearly lacking in ambition. He is always willing just to play the second banana to Captain Picard even though he is clearly capable of command. While I can understand his desire to serve under such a great mentor, eventually he should have spread his wings. Plus Will Riker seems to have just a little too much interest in the ladies. I'm not sure you can trust him to be loyal.

The next Hunk on our list was Deanna's second boyfriend on the show, the overly domesticated Klingon Worf. Poor Worf! I'm not quite sure how he keeps his job. No one ever listens to him! Although he is the very definition of a noble warrior, he still hasn't quite figured out how to be a Klingon in the homo sapiens-only club of the Federation. Also, he is just a little bit judgmental when it comes to "weak" human women. And he is incredibly impatient! Whenever he is asked to hail another ship, he gives them exactly 0.02 seconds to respond before he declares, "No response. Let's kill them!" Considering I don't always answer my phone on the first ring, that doesn't seem to bode well for our relationship. 

Next on the list is Geordi LaForge. Geordi is a very handsome, inventive, intelligent and creative fellow, but he doesn't seem to have very much interest in having a relationship. I mean, beyond holograms. He is far too much in love with his ship to make it all the way to the top of my list. 

Number two on my list is data. He is strong, he is smart and, according to Tasha Yar, he is anatomically correct. This in combination with his vast wealth of knowledge and access to information from every culture would make for a very interesting relationship, if you get what I mean. He is a scientist, poet, musician, actor. In fact, there is no experience that he won't try. I like that adventurous gung-ho interest in everything. Plus he is indestructible and he has no feelings so he can't get angry or disappointed, and there would be far less drama than in other relationships. However, I'm afraid he can't make it to the top of my list because, well, he has a cat, and I am just not a cat person. Sorry Spot. 

By Derek Springer from Los Angeles, CA, USA:
Cdt. Patrick Caughey[1] derivative work,
via Wikimedia Commons
Before we talk about the number one choice, which I'm sure you have already figured out, I want to give a special shout out to Reg Barclay. There's just something about him that is irresistible. And O'Brien also seems like a pretty nice dad and father. But undoubtedly the number one most eligible man on the Enterprise D is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He is the ultimate diplomat and is usually very even-tempered, despite breaking his little ships in First Contact. He is very intelligent, very patient, very intuitive, and he is not afraid to have a relationship even in difficult situations. Any woman would be proud to call herself Mrs. Picard.

--First Officer Cheryl, Stardate 2016.02.16

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